Date: 22 March 2014. Dating after Decades.
continuing series of how to find your cruising compatriot, we've
discussed various scenarios to meet and entice potential
partners. [See the
page for previous articles.]
Not all acquaintances blossom into friendships nor do all
friendships take that next step and become lovers. Still,
after decades "out of the dating loop" there are some challenges
that we didn't have years ago.
The number one
problem is recognizing interest.
younger we did the dance, married, had children, and suddenly for
some of us, we are alone. Either by our own choice or circumstances
there's definitely some baggage after the half-century mark.
Overcoming obstacles is mostly a self-driven exercise and here are
some key things to remember:
Few of us
over 50 resemble the youthful hard-bodies we once were.
Soft is not
a bad thing.
comfortable with what you are now and relax.
an open mind and heart are attractive at any age.
We are the
experiences we've had and there is much wisdom gained in age, and
ups and downs in our earlier years we recognize that everything is
not always perfect, and (drum-roll please)
can be FABULOUS, with the right person.
always a good way to get to know a person, without pressure.
Communication (that scary word!) isn't too hard at the initial
stages. Being honest about expectations helps too. Finding
common ground is more important than any sexual attraction.
generalities can open up a world of possibilities HOWEVER you must
realize what's happening and frankly, one problem I had was a lack
of understanding when and where clues existed. Still there are
commonalities and they begin thus:
Not lunch -- the hour suggests "more" and dinner at a home is clue
one that interest is there. Perhaps.
dinner. Getting to know each other's history...
This is not the time for a drawn out treatise on what was wrong with
Literotica can't hurt.
If you've a
Coach on the side-lines of the opposite gender who can tell you what
men (or women) expect/want/wish for, that helps too.
goodness I had dinner (twice!) at a fellow's home and still didn't
have a clue that he might be interested in me. And I was definitely
interested in him. Sometimes I feel like a 15-watt bulb in a
100-watt world. (sigh)
interested, eh? For a woman, dressing well is helpful.
Men like to imagine access, so the blue jeans are o-u-t and dresses
or skirts are in.
Men are visual and
a little inspiration can work wonders.
Think casual not ballroom. The
proverbial LBD (Little Black Dress) is almost always effective... or
it will plant a seed for the fellow to ponder. And remember that
after the half century mark imagination is important.
Men need to remember that
being clean helps.
Even men who work with their
hands do not need to have layers of grime.
Showering helps -- and
really, I should not have to say it but there is this miracle
product called a razor. Use it -- if not on your face at
least the neck should be tidy.
Dressing well can't hurt either. Try shirts with collars versus
ragged tee's and nothing should have holes. No buttons
should be missing.
don't want to mother you.
have other plans!
But what is
most important of all is the scariest: Communication.
I have a difficult time saying what I want. Years as a
caretaker meeting the needs of others has changed me -- probably for
the better. I know I'm kinder than I once was. Life is about growth
and like others I want to believe I've improved over time.
eventually I'll wish to find
someone who is able to meet the following criteria: A gentle man and
a boater. There's
more, but for now I will sign off. Take care and perhaps I'll
see you along the waterways.
I'd love to hear what you want in a partner.
How long have you been single?
Anchor Light Fix ~
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