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Date: 14 March 2019. Dating for Boaters - Part 4.

© janice142
 

This is a multi-part series for those seeking a cruising partner. Part 4 follows. Here are links to the five articles:

  1. Dating for Boaters - Part 1
  2. Dating for Boaters - Part 2
  3. Dating for Boaters - Part 3
  4. Dating for Boaters - Part 4 (you are here)
  5. Dating for Boaters - Part 5
     

If you prefer to have everything all on one page, this is the link for you:
Dating for Boaters (summary)

The summary has all five parts on one page. Some of my boat friends are on slow connections. For them, the shorter length articles are easier open.


Few people like to be completely alone. We are social creatures. Some however have higher standards and lower tolerances for fools. Personally, I believe boaters are among the most fascinating people on the planet. They (you/we) have taken a different path than the norm. I rather like that.
 

Fortunately there are communities of boaters across the globe. Marinas are hubs of activity.

Friendships form amongst the boaters staying in marinas.


It is always more fun to contemplate someone else's problem than my own.
Yours costs me nothing except time. Time however does fly by all too quickly.


Comfort levels increase when there are other people around. Marinas and boatyards offer that.

I made friends in boat yards that I still communicate with years later. This is Dockside in Carrabelle.


Folks new to life afloat would be well advised to stay in a marina when they first move aboard a boat. There will be problems you have no experience with that have already been solved by others. Let Old Timers guide you.
 

You do not need to "know it all" before leaving.
 

The other boaters can be both a help and a hindrance. We get comfortable with an electric cord, unlimited water, the ease of receiving mail, nearby grocery stores and shops. Those amenities can combine into a piece of strong Velcro! Leaving becomes difficult.
 

Nights at anchor soothe my soul.  I need that serenity for my sanity.


If you're fortunate enough to stay at a marina, look around the neighborhood. Most have a nearby cafe that is open in the morning. Go there every day for coffee. Become a "regular" and soon you will have a circle of associates.
 

Garrison's Bight, in Key West is a vibrant marina.

 

 

 

Note to Ladies: If you want to go boating and do not have your own vessel yet, try having coffee down by the waterfront each morning. It is a way to meet cruisers. They will be the ones in ratty shoes. When you hear boat-talk, ask questions and show interest. You'll soon have an invitation to visit a boat.

Side Note: If the boat shoes are new and shiny, be suspicious.

 

Note to Men: Go to local marine flea markets or used boat gear places. Stores like West Marine are good too. Look for solo women walking around looking at the gear. Ask their opinion abut the quality of a particular item. We all want to be respected for our knowledge.

Side Note: If the woman has on high heels, ignore her. Those heels will ruin your decks.
 

Too often men don't seem to realize the core of
knowledge a woman develops after years of life afloat.

 


You fellows all know that when an online dating profile says her hobby is "fine dining" she is going to be high maintenance and expensive. Women innately realize that man whose online profile states "seeking an adventurous partner with the possibility of marriage," he wants a sex partner.

 

One place to find other boaters is at a boat gear store. In addition to places like West Marine, there are marine consignment shops, used gear sales at chain stores and my favorite: nautical flea markets. I prefer buying from fellow boaters. Prices are generally lower and I find those obscure items I didn't know I needed.
 

I met Captain John and his dog Ebony at the yearly *JSI nautical flea market in St. Petersburg.

I bought a triple block from Captain John. I have it on my dinghy davit to help me raise Algae out of the water.
John's dog Ebony is a Schipperke. That breed is popular aboard cruising boats because they are quite protective.

*JSI [Island Nautical Marine Center] is located in downtown St. Petersburg. They make sails, do canvas work, rigging and more. I still call the place Doyle Sails though they do far more than "just" sails and rigging.
Address: 2233 3rd Avenue South, St. Petersburg, FL  33712. Phone: 727-577-3220.
 

When it comes to socializing, having a dog is a real benefit. Skipper is a gateway for conversations with people. Folks will greet me when I have my First Mate alongside. Still, I don't take her all the time. It is critically important that she not be "That Dog!!!" in the anchorage that barks like a lunatic when left alone aboard the boat.



 

All too often once we get to a certain age, no one seems interested in what we have to say about any topic. Quite frankly, having someone ask me questions about my life is flattering.
 

Not all women feel that way though. Sometimes rapid fire queries border on inquisitions. That is never good.
 

Make sure you are actually listening to people, and not
just waiting for your turn to speak. by erissays (paraphrased)

 


Sharing this world can be accomplished by having a friend. FIRST a friend, then perhaps that will evolve into a relationship. Men over 60 (and I am in that age group too) should not try to go directly from meet-and-greet to let's-sleep-together. Women tend to take longer to develop emotional attachments.
 

Putting pressure on a lady because you want to go cruising shortly usually will not work at all. I do not know that I have ever observed success in that tactic, however there may indeed be an exception.


Of course you are Special. This time things might indeed
be different. If so, good luck and safe travels to you both.

 

Seaweed is not just a great boat. She is shelter, safety and a home that I will always enjoy.

Seaweed provides a safe harbor in a world of change. She is mine, today, tomorrow and forever.
 

Men need to understand that to a woman stability and a home are critically important. Many singles over 40 years old have come through the economic and emotional trauma of divorce. Some men have been "taken to the cleaners" and so too there are women who fall into poverty after a marriage fails. Both are naturally gun-shy.

*Taken to the cleaners: an American term meaning financially wiped out/cleaned of all cash and assets after a divorce.
 

It takes a mighty fine partner to be better than none at all.



Aboard M/V Hero, love occurs. Julie enjoys laying atop her friend Tucker.
The Dachshund duo are a sure conversation starter as they dash about their boat.


When people see me with Skipper they will chat. That is always nice. I meet folks who talk to my pup.

I call Skipper my Social Secretary. She helps me interact with others. Dog People tend to be nice folks.


Advice for Fellows: Once you spot a lady who has piqued your interest it is time to get to know her. Ask questions, and be sure to be quiet so you can hear what she has to say.  This can be done via email, on the phone or in person. How did she get to be in the place she is today?
 

Everyone has had disappointments and usually more than one crushing life-changing event. How has she (or he) recovered? Lessons learned, etc. We all evolve as experiences shape our being. Most want someone that is done wallowing and ready to find happiness, joy and contentment in what life brings.


I find real pleasure in simple things. Sure, I like on occasion to go out to a restaurant, especially if it is something I am not good at cooking. For the curious, that would be Chinese.
 

But I digress...
Concentrate on her interactions with others, especially service personnel. Rudeness has no place in a happy life.
 

You want someone who is fun,
interesting and without drama.



The final article in the series will be posted shortly. I'm almost finished with it. The best is yet to be, in case you wondered. (insert smile)
 

Thanks for reading.
 

How did you meet your cruising partner?
And, was boating your idea, your spouse's or a joint decision?
 

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