Date: 14 March 2019. Dating for
Boaters - Part 4.
Few people like to be completely alone. We
are social creatures. Some however have higher standards and lower
tolerances for fools. Personally, I believe boaters are among the
most fascinating people on the planet. They (you/we) have taken a
different path than the norm. I rather like that.
Fortunately there are communities
of boaters across the globe. Marinas are hubs of activity.
Friendships form amongst the boaters staying in marinas.
It is always more fun to contemplate
someone else's problem than my own.
Yours costs me nothing except time. Time however does fly by all too
Comfort levels increase when there
are other people around. Marinas and boatyards offer that.
I made friends in boat yards that I still communicate with years
later. This is
Dockside ↑ in Carrabelle.
Folks new to life afloat would be well advised to stay in a marina
when they first move aboard a boat. There will be problems you have
no experience with that have already been solved by others. Let Old
Timers guide you.
You do not need to
"know it all" before leaving.
The other boaters
can be both a help and a hindrance. We get comfortable with an electric cord, unlimited water,
the ease of
receiving mail, nearby grocery stores and shops. Those amenities can combine into a
piece of strong Velcro! Leaving becomes difficult.
Nights at anchor soothe my soul.
I need that serenity for my sanity.
If you're fortunate enough to
stay at a marina, look around the neighborhood. Most have a nearby
cafe that is open in the morning. Go there every day for coffee.
Become a "regular" and soon you will have a circle of associates.
Garrison's Bight, in Key West is a
Note to Ladies:
If you want to go boating and do not have your own vessel
yet, try having coffee down by the waterfront each morning. It
is a way to meet cruisers. They will be the ones in ratty
shoes. When you hear boat-talk, ask questions and show
You'll soon have an invitation to visit a boat.
Side Note: If the boat
shoes are new and shiny, be suspicious.
Note to Men:
Go to local marine flea markets or used boat gear places.
Stores like West Marine are good too. Look for solo women
walking around looking at the gear. Ask their opinion abut the
quality of a particular item. We all want to be respected for
Side Note: If the woman has on high heels, ignore
her. Those heels will ruin your decks.
Too often men don't seem to realize the core of
knowledge a woman develops after years of life afloat.
You fellows all know that when an online dating profile says her
hobby is "fine dining" she's going to be high maintenance and
expensive. Women innately realize that man whose online profile
states "seeking an adventurous partner with the possibility of
marriage," he wants a sex partner.
One place to find other boaters is
at a boat gear store. In addition to places like West Marine, there
are marine consignment shops, used gear sales at chain stores and my
favorite: nautical flea markets. I prefer buying from fellow
boaters. Prices are generally lower and I find those obscure items I
didn't know I needed.
I met Captain John and his dog
Ebony at the yearly *JSI nautical flea market in St. Petersburg.
I bought a triple block from Captain John. I have it
on my dinghy davit to help me raise Algae out of the water.
John's dog Ebony is a Schipperke. That breed is popular aboard
cruising boats because they are quite protective.
Nautical Marine Center] is located in downtown St. Petersburg.
They make sails, do canvas work, rigging and more. I still call the
place Doyle Sails though they do far more than "just" sails and
Address: 2233 3rd Avenue South, St. Petersburg, FL 33712.
When it comes to
socializing, having a dog is a real benefit. Skipper is a gateway for conversations with people. Folks will greet
me when I have my First Mate alongside. Still, I don't take her all
the time. It is critically important that she not be "That Dog!!!"
in the anchorage that barks like a lunatic when left alone aboard
All too often once
we get to a certain age, no one seems interested in what we have to
say about any topic. Quite frankly, having someone ask me questions
about my life is flattering.
Not all women feel that way though.
Sometimes rapid fire queries border on inquisitions. That is never
Make sure you are
actually listening to people, and not
just waiting for your turn to speak. by erissays (paraphrased)
Sharing this world can be
accomplished by having a friend. FIRST a friend, then perhaps that
will evolve into a relationship. Men over 60 (and I am in that age
group too) should not try to go directly from meet-and-greet to
let's-sleep-together. Women tend to take longer to develop
Putting pressure on a lady because
you want to go cruising shortly usually won't work at all. I don't
know that I've ever observed success in that tactic, however there
may indeed be an exception.
Of course you're Special. This
time things might indeed
be different. If so, good luck and safe travels to you both.
Seaweed is not just a great boat.
She is shelter, safety and a home that I will always enjoy.
Seaweed provides a safe harbor in a world of change.
She's mine, today, tomorrow and forever.
Men need to understand that to
a woman stability and a home are critically important. Many singles over
40 years old have come through the economic and emotional trauma of
divorce. Some men have been "taken to the cleaners" and so too there are
women who fall into poverty after a marriage fails. Both are
*Taken to the cleaners: an
American term meaning financially wiped out/cleaned of all cash and
assets after a divorce.
It takes a mighty
to be better than none at all.
Aboard M/V Hero, love occurs. Julie enjoys laying
atop her friend Tucker.
The Dachshund duo are a sure conversation starter as they dash about
When people see me with Skipper they will chat. That is always nice. I meet
folks who talk to my pup.
I call Skipper my Social Secretary. She helps me
interact with others. Dog People tend to be nice folks.
Advice for Fellows:
Once you spot a lady who has piqued your interest it is time to get
to know her. Ask questions, and be sure to be quiet so you can hear
what she has to say. This can be done via email, on the phone or in person. How
did she get to be in the place she is today?
Everyone has had
disappointments and usually more than one crushing life-changing
event. How has she (or he) recovered? Lessons learned, etc. We all
evolve as experiences shape our being. Most want someone that is done
wallowing and ready to find happiness, joy and contentment in what
I find real pleasure in simple things. Sure, I like on occasion to
go out to a restaurant, especially if it is something I am not good
at cooking. For the curious, that would be Chinese.
But I digress...
Concentrate on her interactions with others, especially service
personnel. Rudeness has no place in a happy life.
You want someone
who is fun,
interesting and without drama.
The final article in the series will be posted shortly. I'm almost
finished with it. The best is yet to be, in case you wondered.
Thanks for reading.
How did you meet your cruising partner?
And, was boating your idea, your spouse's or a joint decision?
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