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Date: 21 March 2019. Dating for Boaters - Part 5.

janice142
 

This is a multi-part series for those seeking a cruising partner. Part 5 follows. Here are links to the five articles:

  1. Dating for Boaters - Part 1
  2. Dating for Boaters - Part 2
  3. Dating for Boaters - Part 3
  4. Dating for Boaters - Part 4
  5. Dating for Boaters - Part 5 (you are here)


If you prefer to have everything all on one page, this is the link for you:
Dating for Boaters (summary)

The summary has all five parts on one page. Some of my boat friends are on slow connections. For them, the shorter length articles are easier open.


Finding someone to share this world with can be difficult. Putting your entire boating life on hold because you haven't got a partner is not a good idea. Instead, get out here and look around. There are single folks on boats, albeit mostly men. Women have experienced those described in the If the Deck Shoe Fits article. You can surely do better than that!


I have observed boats cruising in tandem. That means that two or more boats are traveling together.

 

Cruising in tandem first came to my attention back when I was younger, pre-cancer. I had intended to buy a NorSea27 with the eventual goal of long-distance blue-water traveling. I read about tandem night sailing from a sailor on Cruisers Forum at least a decade ago. This is how it works:
 

Two boats are heading the same direction at the same speed. After dark, Boat One sets their auto-pilot and the captain goes to his bunk. Boat Two watches over Boat One, keeping it within visual distance. That second captain is the *Watch for both boats.

*Watch: the person on watch is responsible for the safety of the boats. He or she checks for hazards, monitors the radio, verifies the compass course, looks for other vessels, and generally makes sure all continues to be a-okay.


A few hours later the watch Boat Two wakens (via VHF radio) the sleeping Boat One. The guy on Boat Two sets his auto-pilot while the rested captain on Boat One takes over as Watch, keeping an eye on both vessels. There is continually a person making sure all is well. If the weather turns foul, then the sleeping captain is awoken.

Side Note regarding being on Watch: Normally on night watch you survey the entire horizon every 15 minutes. As you can well imagine, no one can do that continually around the clock without serious sleep deprivation. By sharing the watch, two boats in tandem can maintain a good lookout AND get much needed rest.



This is C-Lover at sail on Tampa Bay. She has solar panels mounted atop her dinghy davits.
C-Lover also has a wind generator. Making power when away from the dock is important.
 

Both captains are ultimately responsible for their own vessels. Cruising in tandem is  an option soloists should consider.
 

 

For the curious, here are details of an aft cabin model NorSea27:

 

 

This was my Dream Boat for many years. I am grateful I never bought one as she would not be right for me at this stage of my life. I'm getting older, and frankly raising sails would be too much for me.

 


I thought the whole process of tandem cruising was so interesting I decided that if I were to ever do a passage (even a short overnight hop to the Bahamas) I would want to do so in tandem. This is a way for two soloists to arrive after an overnight voyage with both rested. Of course the boats must travel at the same speed.
 

Sometimes the boats traveling in tandem will raft up if the waters are protected enough to make that a safe option.

Manatee and Houseboat Bob traveled in tandem. Here they are rafted up in the Carrabelle River.


As for me, I rather like the idea of having someone nearby. It is nice to have that sense of purpose, companionship and Privacy too. Because Seaweed is my home, I shall have the best of both worlds.
 

I can enjoy company, and yet retain my own domain. A fellow boat owner who finds a cruising chick with her own vessel can have the same thing too. Each boat is able to enjoy companionship without giving up independence.
 

Skipper and I treasure quiet moments. We are a silent duo, seldom making any noise at all.

I will admit that when a porpoise is nearby Skip does bark like a lunatic. She loves dolphins.
 

For me, life aboard Seaweed is too wonderful to even consider "jumping ship" for another bigger, fancier boat. My home is practically perfect, except for the stuff that needs fixing, upgrading or replacing. Next on the list is to have a tuna door installed.


I know of a pair of sailboats that traveled together for quite some time. Ultimately they parted however each still retained a safety net, i.e. their own boat home. Perhaps that is the best way to travel...



Being on a boat is a wonderful thing. I am
very fortunate for my life aboard Seaweed.
 


Unfortunately, in the past few months I've done practically zero cruising with just sporadic evenings at anchor. I am getting back into the flow, albeit slowly.
 

I blink and another week or three has flashed by. In the meantime there are always projects. Little things seem to take the longest from start, through planning and then into fruition. I feel like I am accomplishing things, yet nothing is totally 100% finished. Argh!
 

 

This is the time of the year when I count my blessings. Two of them are here:

 

Baby and my Grand are wonderful.

Baby and Son-In-Law brought me with them to Disneyworld a while back. I told you about that in the Disney 2017 article. That is the vacation I will never forget. I am very blessed indeed. Thank you again Baby!

 


This entire series was brought about by a question from an online friend. He asked "Have you ever done any kind of survey on where your readers are? I would really like to meet some ladies here in the NW that live on boats. Or at least are not afraid of them. Lonesome adds in local publications don't seem to work. Perhaps you could do a personal column and let folks enter their stats and what and where they are? Thanks I read your columns most days and remember reading "where the girls are." (Where the Women Are) I may even go back to church, but I am a recovering Catholic."


My reply: I really don't know what will work for you, or anyone else for that matter. The items outlined in this series have been successful for some. Finding someone to share this life is possible. Partnerships develop and some stand the test of time. Happiness is finding joy in the life we are given.


 

 

Advice for those interested in trying Online Dating

 

If you opt for making friends online using one of the services like Match or Plenty Of Fish may I suggest the following:
 

  • #1) Get a throw-away email address. Do not post your real one on an open board or you might get the quantity of email that makes it into my inbox. Trust me when I say you don't want that!

  • #2) Please stick with first names or nicknames. There are crazies in the world.

  • #3) Include a general location. Be safe and circumspect as to your specific coordinates.

  • #4) Age range (that doesn't mean to knock off 10 years either!)

  • #5) Do you smoke? For some that is a deal-breaker.
     

Please note that no where in that list do I suggest you exchange photographs. That is because after you get to know someone, their outward appearance is far less important than what is on the inside. For me, kindness and compassion are a much higher priority than what someone looks like.

 

 

I am totally happy that I have my Seaweed. My home is incredibly important to me.

The alternative would be dreadful. I absolutely do not want to end up in one of those old people prisons.
 

A boat offers freedom. Life on the water is spectacular. Having acquired a level of decadence, my journey is so much better now than even a few years ago. If your boat is not comfortable, being able to explain what improvements are planned can alleviate concerns.
 

I know Seaweed has evolved since I purchased her. This boat is nothing like the shell I started with. Your vessel does not have to be Perfect provided you can articulate a plan for making her better.
 

Life as a soloist can change. Down the river may indeed be someone very Special with their own boat.

Traveling with another vessel (cruising in tandem) is a viable alternative to living together on the same boat.


I believe it can be better for a relationship if both people have their own boat. Everyone, especially those of us who have been solo for a long time, has quirks. I know I need my alone time. I want to think my own thoughts on a boat that is virtually silent.


Other people like radios, television and music. I'm not much for any of those things. Now I putter about the boat each day. Some days I simply curl up with my Kindle and read. Other days are spent enjoying a tablet. This one, a Verizon, is so beyond cool. I love it!



A huge thank you to the reader who provided me with this gem. It powers my online world.

 

But I digress...
If your life includes another individual, that is wonderful. Making friends is the key. Today after over eleven years aboard Seaweed, I am still corresponding with folks met at the start of this journey. Some I look forward to seeing again further along the waterways.


You want someone who is fun, interesting and without drama.
If both partners own their own boat, you are indeed blessed.

 

In the  meantime I intend to embrace life, cruise in tandem and continue to enjoy my world aboard Seaweed. I wish the same for you: much happiness, beautiful sunsets and a fabulous journey along the waters of our planet.
 



 

 

 

Dating for Boaters Series Outline/Summary:

 

Number One: The likelihood of finding a partner while anchored off that enchanting small town is poor. You are a pain in the transom to visit so casual trips cannot be easily managed. Dinghy rides to a boat? No. Not at first for most ladies.

Solution: Bring your boat to the dock.

Number Two: Bars are out, unless you are looking for a floozy who drinks too much. Women and men of substance do not spend extended time in bars.

Number Three: If you want a woman, go where the women are. It really is that simple.

Number Four: Take classes or volunteer at organizations you support.

Number Five: Have coffee at a breakfast cafe near a local live-aboard marina.

Number Six: Talk to soloists at nautical flea markets and boat gear places. Ask opinions about gear they have used.

Number Seven: A dog is a good conversation starter. Asking a pet owner to give up their dog to go cruising with you is a Deal Breaker. The type of person who would consider a critter disposable is not the sort of individual I would ever want to have a relationship with!

Number Eight: Cruising in tandem is an opportunity to share the journey and keep separate homes/boats.

Advice for those opting for Online Dating: Get a throw-away email address. Stick with first names or nicknames. Include a general location and age range. Don't lie about your age! If you're focused on meeting someone twenty years younger and in perfect physical condition, the likelihood of success is near zero.
 

Be realistic. None of us are quite as
young and fit as we imagine ourselves to be.

 

 

Good luck, and thank you for reading.
 

Have you traveled in tandem with another vessel?
And, have you met anyone IRL (in real life) that was first an online acquaintance?
 

Regarding the Comments Section, found at the end of every article:

  • Before you type in each block be sure to hit the backspace key. Coding inserts a space in every box. Your email address will come back as malformed unless you remove that space. (You don't have to include your email address.)

  • The capcha is case sensitive.


COMMENTS:
 

2019

Categories: Boat Talk, Boats, Characters, Locations, Pets, Relationships, Wild Things,
 

Dating for Boaters - Part 4 ~ Previous Post ...    ... Next Post ~ coming soon


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