Date: 21 March 2019. Dating for
Boaters - Part 5.
Finding someone to share this world with can be
difficult. Putting your entire boating life on hold because you haven't got a partner is not a good idea. Instead, get out here and
look around. There are single folks on boats, albeit mostly men.
Women have experienced those described in the
If the Deck Shoe Fits
article. You can surely do better than that!
I have observed boats cruising in tandem. That means
that two or more boats are traveling together.
Cruising in tandem first came to
my attention back when I was younger, pre-cancer. I had intended
to buy a NorSea27 with the eventual goal of long-distance
blue-water traveling. I read about tandem night sailing from a
Cruisers Forum at least a decade ago. This is how it works:
Two boats are
heading the same direction at the same speed. After dark, Boat One
sets their auto-pilot and the captain goes to his bunk. Boat Two
watches over Boat One, keeping it within visual distance. That
second captain is the *Watch for both boats.
*Watch: the person on watch is
responsible for the safety of the boats. He or she checks for
hazards, monitors the radio, verifies the compass course, looks
for other vessels, and generally makes sure all continues to be
A few hours later the watch Boat Two
wakens (via VHF radio) the sleeping Boat One. The guy on Boat
Two sets his auto-pilot while the rested captain on Boat One takes
over as Watch, keeping an eye on both vessels. There is continually a person making sure all is well. If
the weather turns foul, then the sleeping captain is awoken.
regarding being on Watch: Normally on night
watch you survey the entire horizon every 15 minutes. As you can
well imagine, no one can do that continually around the clock
without serious sleep deprivation. By sharing the watch, two boats
in tandem can maintain a good lookout AND get much needed rest.
This is C-Lover ↑ at sail on Tampa Bay. She has
solar panels mounted atop her dinghy davits.
C-Lover also has a wind generator. Making power when away from the
dock is important.
are ultimately responsible for their own vessels. Cruising in
tandem is an option soloists should consider.
For the curious, here are details of an aft cabin
This was my Dream Boat for many years. I
am grateful I never bought one as she would not be right for me
at this stage of my life. I'm getting older, and frankly raising
sails would be too much for me.
I thought the whole process
of tandem cruising was so interesting I decided that if I were to
ever do a passage (even a short overnight hop to the Bahamas) I
would want to do so in tandem. This is a way for two soloists to
arrive after an overnight voyage with both rested. Of course the
boats must travel at the same speed.
Sometimes the boats traveling in
tandem will raft up if the waters are protected enough to make that a
Manatee and Houseboat Bob traveled in tandem. Here they
are rafted up in the Carrabelle River.
As for me, I rather like the idea of
having someone nearby. It is nice to have that sense of purpose,
companionship and Privacy too. Because Seaweed is my home, I shall
have the best of both worlds.
I can enjoy company, and yet
retain my own domain. A fellow boat owner who finds a cruising
chick with her own vessel can have the same thing too. Each boat is
able to enjoy companionship without giving up independence.
Skipper and I treasure quiet moments. We
are a silent duo, seldom making any noise at all.
I will admit that when a porpoise is nearby Skip does bark like a
lunatic. She loves dolphins.
For me, life aboard Seaweed is
too wonderful to even consider "jumping ship" for another bigger,
fancier boat. My home is practically perfect, except for the stuff
that needs fixing, upgrading or replacing. Next on the list is to
have a tuna door installed.
I know of a pair of sailboats
that traveled together for quite some time. Ultimately they parted
however each still retained a safety net, i.e. their own boat home.
Perhaps that is the best way to travel...
Being on a boat is a wonderful
thing. I am
very fortunate for my life aboard Seaweed.
Unfortunately, in the past few months I
have done practically zero
cruising with just sporadic evenings at anchor. I am getting back
into the flow, albeit slowly.
I blink and another week or three
has flashed by. In the meantime there are always projects. Little
things seem to take the longest from start, through planning and then
into fruition. I feel like I am accomplishing things, yet nothing is
totally 100% finished. Argh!
This is the time of the year when I
count my blessings. Two of them are here:
Baby and my Grand are wonderful.
Baby and Son-In-Law brought
me with them to Disneyworld a while back. I told you about that
Disney 2017 article. That is
the vacation I will never forget. I am very blessed indeed.
Thank you again Baby!
This entire series was brought about by a question
from an online friend. He asked "Have you ever done any kind of survey on where your readers are?
I would really like to meet some ladies here in the NW that live on
boats. Or at least are not afraid of them. Lonesome adds in local
publications don't seem to work. Perhaps you could do a personal
column and let folks enter their stats and what and where they are?
Thanks I read your columns most days and remember reading "where the
(Where the Women Are)
I may even go back to church, but I am a recovering
My reply: I really don't know what will work for you, or anyone else
for that matter. The items outlined in this series have been
successful for some. Finding someone to share this life is possible.
Partnerships develop and some stand the test of time. Happiness is
finding joy in the life we are given.
those interested in trying Online Dating
If you opt for making friends
online using one of the services like
Of Fish may I suggest the following:
#1) Get a
throw-away email address. Do not post
your real one on an open board or you might get the quantity
of email that makes it into my inbox. Trust me when I say you
don't want that!
stick with first names or nicknames.
There are crazies in the world.
a general location. Be safe and
circumspect as to your specific coordinates.
range (that does not mean to knock off 10
#5) Do you
smoke? For some that is a deal-breaker.
that no where in that list do I suggest you exchange
photographs. That is because after you get to know someone,
their outward appearance is far less important than what is on
the inside. For me, kindness and compassion are a much higher priority
than what someone looks like.
I am totally happy that I have my
Seaweed. My home is incredibly important to me.
The alternative would be dreadful. I absolutely do not want to end
up in one of those old people prisons.
A boat offers
freedom. Life on the water is spectacular. Having acquired a level of decadence, my journey is so much better
now than even a few years ago. If your boat is not comfortable,
being able to explain what improvements are planned can alleviate
I know Seaweed has evolved since I
purchased her. This boat is nothing like the shell I started with.
Your vessel does not have to be Perfect provided you can articulate
a plan for making her better.
Life as a soloist can change. Down
the river may indeed be someone very Special with their own boat.
Traveling with another vessel (cruising in tandem) is a viable
alternative to living together on the same boat.
I believe it can be better for
a relationship if
both people have their own boat. Everyone, especially those of us
who have been solo for a long time, has quirks. I know I need my
alone time. I want to think my own thoughts on a boat that is
Other people like radios, television and music. I am not much for any
of those things. Now I putter about the boat each day. Some days I
simply curl up with my
Kindle and read. Other days are spent
enjoying a tablet. This one, a Verizon, is so beyond cool. I love
A huge thank you to the reader who provided me with this gem. It
powers my online world.
But I digress...
If your life includes another individual, that is wonderful. Making
friends is the key. Today after over eleven years aboard Seaweed, I
am still corresponding with folks met at the start of this
journey. Some I look forward to seeing again further along the
You want someone who is fun,
interesting and without drama.
If both partners own their own boat, you are indeed blessed.
In the meantime I intend to embrace life, cruise
in tandem and continue to enjoy my world aboard Seaweed. I wish the
same for you: much happiness, beautiful sunsets and a fabulous
journey along the waters of our planet.
Boaters Series Outline/Summary:
The likelihood of finding a partner while anchored off that
enchanting small town is poor. You are a pain in the transom to
visit so casual trips cannot be easily managed. Dinghy rides to a
boat? No. Not at first for most ladies.
Solution: Bring your boat to the dock.
Number Two: Bars are out, unless
you are looking for a floozy who drinks too much. Women and men of
substance do not spend extended time in bars.
If you want a woman, go where the women are. It really is that
Take classes or volunteer at organizations you support.
Have coffee at a breakfast cafe near a local
Talk to soloists at nautical flea markets and boat gear places. Ask
opinions about gear they have used.
A dog is a good conversation starter. Asking a pet owner to give up
their dog to go cruising with you is a Deal Breaker. The type of
person who would consider a critter disposable is not the sort of
individual I would ever want to have a relationship with!
Cruising in tandem is an opportunity to share the
journey and keep separate homes/boats.
Advice for those opting for Online
Get a throw-away email address. Stick with first names
or nicknames. Include a general location and age range. Do not lie
about your age! If you are focused on meeting someone twenty years
younger and in perfect physical condition, the likelihood of success
is near zero.
Be realistic. None of us are quite
young and fit as we imagine ourselves to be.
Good luck, and thank you for
Have you traveled in tandem with another vessel?
And, have you met anyone IRL (in real life) that was first an online
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© 2019, 2023
Dating for Boaters - Part 4
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