You've given excellent advice for meeting like-minded people, Janice. Whether new friends or more. Choosing and staying at a marina when first starting would be a great way to 'wet your toes.' :)

Making friends is the key. I believe age has given me an edge. I am willing to try, even if shot down. Besides, not trying ensures failure.

You are correct Pam. Marina life is the best way to rapidly gain experience and a circle of friends. I'll have to remember your wording re "wet your toes" for some future article. Thanks Pam.

your friend in the south, J.

At a recent gathering of cruisers out here in the western Pacific we were disusing one of our favorite topics - women (the others are boats and beer). The consensus seems to be that it is getting to be much more difficult to get women into bed on the first date. Why do you think that is and what can we do about it? Your advice is much appreciated.

I know Janice doesn't need my help, but your comment is tasteless and crude.

What was acceptable when you're young, fit and foolish is far different than what is okay now. Please re-read the If the Deck Shoe Fits article [http://janice142.com/Articles/IfTheDeckShoeFits.html] and take notes.

A woman of substance *usually* won't open herself to intimacy without a real bond of some sort. That doesn't normally occur instantly.

Instead of focusing on sex, try to become the sort of person who could be desirable to another. The "Old Boys Club" attitude is tiresome, at least from my perspective.

Yes, I am aware that morality and standards fluctuate depending upon your locale. In some areas of the south Pacific I have heard that sex is more recreational than here.

Here in the states among the ladies I know, you'd be classified as a Neanderthal. The older women I chat with are far intrigued by gentlemen who respect and treat us well. Think Cary Grant in Father Goose, a movie that was set in your area. I happen to have that movie on DVD incidentally.

As for advice, be the sort of person your grandmother would approve of. Good luck. May fair seas follow you. J.

Thanks for your reply to Captain Ron. There are all sorts out here Pam. Some are a little (okay, a lot!) rougher around the edges. Especially men that have been single for decades, those fellows tend to lean towards Rough and Ready versus Kind and Compassionate.

Then they wonder because no woman is hot for their brand of brashness. I hope everyone finds happiness. Those that are a bit prickly have a much harder time than the rest.

I worry about those older fellows, alone, without a support system. It doesn't matter if you're aboard a boat or locked up in an old folks home. The loneliness makes me sad for people who are not good at making AND being a friend.

Here, on St. Pete Beach (it is said that when retirees move to Miami, their parents move to St. Petersburg!) ... anyway, here Every time I go to the grocery store I see these little old men buying a couple of TV dinners. Their carts will be nearly empty and it makes me sad Pam. These men are clueless, or just simply existing. I worry about them. Yes, I'm a softy.

On boats though it is more isolating. Unless the fellow is in a marina or a busy anchorage, those folks can be forgotten. Back on the east coast my friend Ken had a VHF radio show each morning. He asked for check-ins from those of us on the water. The feeling of camaraderie was something I have missed on this coast.

I'm rambling. I do thank you for your reply back to Captain Ron. That was right nice of you. J.

I read about these VHF checkins all the time. In all parts of the globe. Do you know of or is there one here in the Salish Sea? While most of us head for a land base in the Winter it is nearing Spring. I will be heading out in a few weeks and it would be nice to have a VHF radio check in every morning or so. If there is not one how would I get one started? How could you let folks know about it? On channel 16 then switch to a working channel? Advice and comments please.

I know the captain that started a VHF radio show over on the east coast and ran it for a few years Captain Sid. Let me call him and see if he can remind me of how it all started. I'll get back to you (probably with an article) on that. Thank you Cap'n for the query.

I seem to remember an announcement on Channel 16 each morning. Advice: Check and see what time your area Coast Guard broadcasts on 16. That way you know when NOT to have your radio show. Also verify your chosen channel doesn't already have something at the time your want to start yours.

I will see if I can get a copy of the show script too. That might be helpful too.

Thank you Captain for your Comment. I'll get right on the VHF radio show primer. It would be lovely if they sprang up all over the place. I know I'd like that. Your friend in the southeast, J.